“Laws of nature will always stay the same, no matter if humans intervene.”

Indeed, this principle is also applicable in our homes. Naturally, a child will not be born without a father and a mother. Therefore, if the child grows up without having a complete family, the child will soon feel the longing and the need for having both a father and a mother at home.

As a matter of fact, majority of kids whose parents are separated or divorced wish to see their mother and father together again just to have a complete family. If you are facing this kind of problem, please do read on.

The Child’s Ideal View: A Complete Family

One of the major issues being faced by single parents is dealing with their child’s need for a complete family. Of course, as the child grows older, they will begin to notice the difference with their family.

Sooner or later, they will be asking about their absentee parent based on their observations with their friends and other families, especially if they see a happy family in movies. Then, they will start asking about the whereabouts of their missing parent.

If they were in their early childhood years when their parents separated or got divorced, a normal child will surely feel the longing for having a complete family. Of course, they were able to experience how it was growing up with a mother and a father at home. In fact, a number of kids with divorced parents have undergone counseling due to their emotional stress and trauma.

Most of these kids wish to see their biological parents together again and even do things to threaten their parents just to see their parents reunited. Oftentimes, kids will envy their peers who have a complete family. It will even come to a point where they will ask and beg you to reunite with your ex just to have a complete family.

Tips on How to Deal With Your Child’s Need for a Complete Family

How do you explain to your child when your child tells you he/she wants you and your ex back together in order to have a complete family? You might want to consider the following:

1 – Talk to your child in a loving manner.

Sometimes, simple talks will do. Why not just sit down and cuddle your child lovingly? Don’t just ignore them. If your child is behaving unnaturally, that simply means he/she is in need of attention and your loving embrace. Talk to them with love and respect. If they are mature enough to understand some things, like the reasons why you had to call it quits with your ex, share it with them.

However, if they are too young to understand such complicated things, you can assure them that happy families need not have a father and a mother at home. As a matter of fact, a number of kids out there with a complete set of parents are not experiencing the real essence of having a complete family. Furthermore, they are already blessed for having a parent who loves them deeply compared to parentless children out there.

2 – Evaluate yourself as a single parent.

Basically, if a child is full of love at home, their longing to have a complete family will be minimized. You, on your part, will also not be stressed out with this kind of issue. But if they are persistent in convincing you to get back with your ex in order to have a complete family, then it’s time to re-evaluate yourself.

You might have been very busy that you haven’t attended to the needs of your child. Are you ignoring them at times? Maybe you have neglected them somehow and it is their way of reaching out to you. It is possible that they just want to fill in their loneliness by requesting for their other parent to be present with them.

3 – Prepare for the reunion.

This may mean two different things. If love on both parties (you and your ex) has not faded yet, then why not grant your child’s request? You just might want to give it another chance. More importantly, it would be a joyous event in the lives of your kids. They will be the happiest people. However, if circumstances and your heart will not allow it to happen, don’t force things.

But, you can still make your child happy by allowing them to spend time with their other parent (your ex). You can also go out together as a family. You can watch a movie together, go shopping, have a picnic, or basically just spend time bonding with one another. The important thing is for your child to experience once more how it is to feel complete, without having to choose between time spent with mom or dad.

These are just some helpful tips you may want to apply on how to deal with your child’s need for a complete family. The choice is still up to you on how you want to deal with it. The important thing is your child’s happiness and for your kid to feel loved without feeling incomplete.

About the author: Daniel Ruyter is founder and editor of Memoirs of a Single Dad and author of the dating rules book Memoirs of a Dating Dad.

Photo credit: Kevin Rohr